Academic Abominations

I was a first year once. I know I was irritating. I got bored in the lectures for classes I didn't like. I let my mind wander and I chatted with friends while the professor was teaching. However. When I was asked to pipe down, I shut the fuck up.

I am now a 5th year, having changed my major at Brock from Archaeology to Film Studies. Turns out I didn't want to be Indiana Jones, I wanted to make Indiana Jones. Well, not make Indiana Jones, but films in general, if you get my meaning. I'm really enjoying my courses! I think they're fanplasmic. I can feel my brain expanding on a weekly basis. Soon it will grow to the point that I will be capable of telekinesis. But not really. ANYwho...

The main down side to this switch in major, is I now have the academic maturity of a grad student. And I am in a lecture hall filled with 500 first years. Chatty, irritating 17-year-olds, a smear on the face of campus, an aggravation, an affliction, a plague that sweeps through my studious environment three days a week.


These academic abominations don't seem to realize that I don't care who did what to whom at the Moose and Goose last week. I don't care if Nathan cheated on Rebecca with Meagan, or that Nathan is a dick, OR that you'd do him anyway. I don't want to hear your shitty-ass techno music when I'm trying to focus on the professor, and when I ask you to turn it down, I don't mean that I'd rather you switch out the techno for rap, white-boy. I don't want to see a Family Guy episode playing on your laptop in front of me. I like Family Guy. It's a distraction. I also don't want to see your skanky photos from the bar on your Facebook out of the corner of my eye. And I especially don't want to hear you bitch about how you don't understand the lecture content after your chatting, your iPoding, your Facebooking, your slacking.

I hereby submit my vote for a laptop ban in lecture halls. Pens and paper have worked for years, folks. I also vote YES on proposition No Warnings, a practice that will require professors across the campus to boot chatty "students" out of the lecture halls and classrooms with no further warning. They've gotten plenty, believe you me. Believe you me.

/rant